Waiting

Waiting. We've all had our share of waiting. Waiting in line for a cocktail at a crowded bar. Waiting in line for a table at your favorite restaurant on a Friday night in Dallas (1 hr min, what the heck?). Waiting in line at the doctor's office. Waiting for your child to die.

It's funny how we came to be in this place. From no kids, to three kids, we lapped all of our friends with one splitting of an embryo (except for one crazy set of friends who think 4 kids is a good idea. Just had to out do us, didn't you.) We had weekly appointments with OBGYN's and Maternal/Fetal doctors. Enough sonograms to wall paper a nursery (we'll I thought it was a good idea). A case of absent diastolic flow with Bella that led to 6 weeks of hospital bed rest and daily monitoring for my wife Belinda. An emergency delivery at 30 weeks including an all expenses paid stay in the hotel NICU. But from there things actually got better. We thought we were really lucky. No real issues in the hospital, aside from a few personality conflicts with the nursing staff. Our kids were "feeders and growers" as they say. We learned to change diapers, feed babies from a bottle, give baths, the works.

Seven short weeks later, we were bringing the girls home to a whole new world. Mommy and Daddy had to learn how to juggle three babies (Not literally. Seriously. You can't prove anything.) We had to learn how to survive 3 am feedings x 3. We had to learn how to balance feeding them as fast as possible (I need my sleep people!) with making sure they got enough to eat. We had to learn how to swaddle, how to burp, how to quickly change a diaper in a truck stop. And now almost a year to the day from when we brought them home we sit waiting. Waiting for Piper to die.

Starting last night, Piper stopped breathing. It lasted about 10 seconds. She just stoped breathing and stared into space. Then she started breathing again. It's happened 4-5 more times since last night, the worst lasting about 30 seconds. It's probably only a matter of days until her little body just decides it's had enough. Until then, we wait.